Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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