This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
