forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
