I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
