Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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