I wanna bring you to show and tell
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
