He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
