im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
