I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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