umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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