Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
