Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
