the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
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