I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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