his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
