i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
