On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
