I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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