Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
