She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
