i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
