in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
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