just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
