my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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