It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
