Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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