I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
