I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
