ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
