i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
