and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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