when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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