I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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