we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
