i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
