Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
