ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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