It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
