what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
