I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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