i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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