she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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