I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
