i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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