So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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