No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
