OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm at about main and main street
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
