dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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