We won't sleep together?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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