The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
